JAKE GYLLENHAAL - PRINCE OF POLITENESS

Los Angeles is known for its traffic. So, you can only imagine what a ‘pleasant’ drive I was having on the bumper to bumper Hollywood Freeway. AARRGGHH!! Remember those drive-by traffic shootings? Hey – I’m not supporting it – I just really am beginning understand it!

OK, back to the car – convertible actually - la de da de dah. So here I am, merging onto the Hollywood Freeway and nobody, I mean nobody wants to let ‘little ol’ me’ in. I’m such a nice guy and I was having a good hair day, I just couldn’t understand why nobody was letting me in.

My merging lane was coming to an end – and you know what that means – the lane is slowly getting narrower – and my patience is slowly getting less and less. Is anybody going to let me in??!!

Finally another dude (did I just say dude?) in a convertible motions to me. He is letting me in! I was reassured that I was a nice guy and having a good hair day. Even better, I check into my rearview mirror after I pull in to wave to this good highway Samaritan and wouldn’t you know it? It was Jake Gyllenhall! Yes the Prince of Persia himself! As I wave thank you, he gives a cool Brokeback Mountain nod of acknowledgement. Is there such a thing as a Brokeback Mountain nod?

At any rate, my point is this: just like Charlton Heston parted the Red Sea as Moses, Jake Gyllenhaal parted the sea of traffic for me! I needed someone to let me in and my Celebrity Law of Attraction worked like a charm. I truly believe that if I did not have huge faith in my Celebrity Law of Attraction – a huge star like Jake Gyllenhaal would not have let me in. With little of no faith, a much smaller celebrity, like Charo, would have let me in. Or possibly Rip Taylor. Or that guy from Survivor Season 2.

So do I love Los Angles traffic? Absolutely. Now, if only I can get into a fender bender with Angelina Jolie! Well, one day......